Sunday, March 27, 2011

EXTRA CRDIT BETA-READING!!! :O

Yes, the dialogue dose contribute to the story. with out the dialogue, or with minimal dialogue, it would not make sense and would be missing a key component, a life or a warmth. The story line, unforunately, is dry, but still has some potential. Also, it can sometimes skip around to much. where it skips is mainly the dialogue part. When Dorthy and Stella where talking, it was hard to keep up especially when the names and their nicknames where interchanged.

Yes the explanation allows us to see a secret in the story. if that is what ur story is about, then u shuld continue it. Hoever, keep in mind that a love story between a vampire and mortal is over used and can become cliche'd. Even though it is over rated, it can stil have a good grasp of a new take on this typical love story. having it be a phillipino folklore is pretty far out there and i would definately not have noticed it!

Yes, Dorthy's reaction is normal. However, it just seems so spread out. I think all the little detail about the songs the played was just to much....maybe. it is in that sense, easier to connect to as a teenager. But, it was a whole entire page of description about that little dance party (which was a little hard to follow, one moment they were looking stella, the next dancing.)

A little, the cultural aspects sort of assume i, the reader, already know Phillipino folklore. However, You do add decription which helps the reader conceptulize what u were saying.

I think that it is neat that she is fillipino because, in that sense, she is a young women finding out more about her culture. She will examine and explore her self and how she plays a role in her own culture, and thus, reguvinating her culture and making it more abmirable and proud to be who you are. Through discovering here self, she will then discover serets about her culture. MAKE SURE THAT THERE ARE MORE SECRETS OTHER THAN THE ONE ABOUT THE VAMPIRE. it will be way less over rated. this will also hook more readers in....Thank you for letting us read ur book and i ook forward to the rest.

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